Spitting on Reality Television

Most of the bored and easily entertained viewers out there will be glued to watching the Bachelor finale tonight. As is evidently your right as Americans to do. But let me clue you into a show that strips away the artifice and contrived glamour of the crowning jewel in ABC's crown.

That show is Flavor of Love on VH1. Much like its "classier" counterpart, the show follows the heartache of contestants as they try to romance an eligible man for a whirlwind romance while being filmed and/or manipulated by the television cameras. In this case, the eligible bachelor is Flava Flav, best known for his work with Public Enemy, as well as other VH1 Celebreality shows Surreal Life and Strange Love.

Unlike the stunningly handsome Vanderbilt doctor on the Bachelor, Flav would be viewed as a repellant human being by not only the conventional standards of appearance, but by general good taste. Naturally, this makes great television.

The women also, are unlike their more well-known counterparts. These girls are pretty much skanks. Nasty skanks who would sell what little is left of their souls to get some face time on television. The girl who got the boot last night had appeared on six shows including Blind Date and Street Smarts before this train wreck.

Here is what makes this show so damn good. When this girl got the heave-ho (and I do mean "ho"), she spit in the face of one of the other girls after a prolonged Springer-esque trash talking dialogue. America loves a sore loser. Let's be honest here, knock-down, drag-out televised cat fights are one of the top three reasons to own a television.

Strip away all the pretensions of romance and delusions of sophistication of the big dating show on tonight and check out Flavor of Love for just how low people will stoop to get famous for ten minutes.

Check your local listings.